|
|
I'm not an artist, I'm an asshole
|
|
|
| sex, drugs, rock, roll and picnics |
[19 Dec 2006|05:41pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
hot chocolate |
] |
tuesday, too good day. some sex, some drugs, rock and roll and a great picnic. marissa and i marched around the grocery store picking this and that, until we collectively hunted down entire sandwiches, pita chips and hummus. plus some cream soda. i've got a rockstar i can't decide what to do with, i mean it is tuesday and occasionally shit doesn't go down on tuesdays, but if i want to continue the rockstar life style i must imbibe and overcome the sleepiness that comes with quite a few blunts, food and naps in the park. if i want to lay down and go to sleep i will continue as i'm going.
i need a book of chords for the guitar.
i'm going to start one of the projects i have set up for myself.
sometimes getting sex is like asking a crack dealer for two dollars to buy crack.
cuddling is good. streaking through the park at night when it's 40 degrees outside is better, especially when a spa is at the end of the trip. the return trip is not as promising.
i love crack.
|
|
| alzheimer's a killer |
[17 Dec 2006|06:41pm] |
the thing about working with old guys, is they can't remember when they've given you the same speech fifteen times. although, the first couple of times were appreciated, it quickly becomes repetitive and irritating. i can stand around all day PRETENDING like i'm listening or we can get back to work. (by work, i mean, sitting around online, checking out myspaces or livejournal's and attempting to let these fools feel good enough about the number of words that have needlessly come out of their mouths for that day.
i look at them and begin to wonder whether or not they have any idea what they're talking about at all or if they really do love the sound of their voices that much. these speeches over and over again, intended to make me a bigger scum bag than i've accomplished on my own. "lie to them, they lie to you". "they never actually have to agree to buying the car, you can pursuade them in a way they can't say no." "it doesn't matter if they can afford the car."
and me nodding and saying, "uh huh"
i believe if i didn't have all of their bullshit stuck inside my head, i could actually communicate with these people in a way that sells a car, that they can afford, that won't fuck them...hold on here he comes again...
yup. more bullshit. all well intentioned, don't get me wrong. they mean well. wow. again. seriously. twice just during the typing of this. "just make up stories, i can't remember my own bullshit, but i don't have to"\
i remember all your bullshit, and it's deteriorating my intelligence, moment by moment.
|
|
| terrorist ingenuity. |
[10 Dec 2006|11:47am] |
|
i'm thoroughly impressed by the ingenuity of the "terrorists". i was reading an article today about saddam hussein's nephew who escaped from prison yesterday, with the help of one of the prison police officers. which now that it happened is pretty obvious. in a country that is trying to get it's people to police themselves, it is an easy escape. get one of your buddies to train as a police officer and get sent to serve in your prison. you may need to try a few times but when you're sentenced to life in prison it wouldn't be a difficult thing to wait and be patient. so finally your buddy is your prison guard and BAM! you're out. clever little bastards.
|
|
| words with meaning |
[16 Mar 2006|01:54pm] |
i have began writing everyday and have written a few things that i like. maybe like is the wrong word, but i have begun to write things that i feel are important to myself and have begun to write without consideration of the outside world, which makes me like it. i wrote a lot today and one inparticular struck me as important because of the intense emotion i felt as i wrote it. so here it is.
what would life be like
if the moment we came into it
we took the knowledge
that this life is created
by our own ideas?
not controlled so that we "behave"
i see behavior control
as a way for those who have control
to avoid the annoyance of
the ones who go against
their perception of how the universe
should be, of how all should act
they are controlled because of anger
through fear and fear is the true controller.
so what am i really afraid of?
i tremble at the thought of
the truest answer to that question.
my mind is on the edge of
realeasing it onto paper.
then i would always know.
so i will try again
what am i really afraid of?
and the thought of that idea
makes me tremble with anxiety until i almost cry
so the only answer i have is
the knowledge of what i truly fear.
my mind knows and holds itself back.
someday i will try again.
someday i will break that bond
and i can overcome and become limitless.
as i write it, i dislike it. i don't feel type and internet can show exactly what i'm saying, i feel that every pencil stroke and the fomation and look of each letter hold as much importance to the art of it as the actual words. still, it was an intense experience for me, so here it is.
|
|
| puppy time. |
[04 Mar 2006|08:56am] |
i'm helping out. spreading some puppy time for the world. my dog had puppies on valentine's day. purebred pomeranians, they're adorable. here they are for all to enjoy. if you'd like one, they are for sale. let me know.
there you go. enjoy.
|
|
| me me me me |
[08 Feb 2006|01:31pm] |
my thoughts encompass most of my time at the moment. confusion has led to an introspective nature. i am really trying to find myself but at the same time don't want to get there because who knows, i may get so set in my ways i never try anything new. middle aged adult same routine day after day after day. someday maybe i will find peace in that, who knows. i want to know all about everything though, i want to see it all and i want to continue to expand myself. foolish...probably.
take it easy man. it's not that bad. if it were that bad don't you think everyone would be upset about it? no, you are the only one that is concerned about it. you are making it into way too big of a deal. seriously though, it'll pass and you'll be over it. just like everyone else, so in retrospect does it really seem worth it to spend all this time making something you won't care about into a big deal, just for yourself. ass. i can't make you do it and really i don't care if you do or not, just don't bitch to me about how it's not working for you when you're so concerned with failure. alright. i don't give a fuck. didn't you hear, if you're not going to listen to any advice why are you bitching? oh, you want everyone else to feel sorry for you, suck your asshole, then i'll feel sorry for you.
i'm pretty much an asshole, but i'm always so nice. it seems almost impossible. i pull it off though, no one would really expect how much i hate them when i meet them. i smile and listen and make them laugh, it might almost seem like i liked them. they might even think we would have a good time hanging out because i'm so friendly and i make them feel good about themselves. when in actuality if we got into hang out mode, i'd slap them in the face and then piss in their mouths. for most people that'd be enough, but no, i'd take out the mayonaise i'd been letting rot on the counter for three months and make him eat the whole jar, but nobody would ever know just by meeting me.
confusion, it's really unnerving.
|
|
| revelations in a far out hippie world |
[07 Feb 2006|08:32am] |
the music always sounds so much better. you can feel every hit of every base in your body and the words sound like they're being sung by god. if you can hear god sing, could you hear him tell you he'd never existed?
"devin, this is god"
i'd never imagined god would have the voice of everyone i know, sounds almost like a small child.
"love has lost it's meaning"
how could it? you're god. can't you make it mean something?
"no you fucking asshole, you're on drugs. there is no god, the only people who talk to me are fucked up, i've never existed"
wow! that's all i have to say about that.
sometimes i do some fucked up stupid ass shit when i get fucked up. sometimes i regret it, a lot. sometimes i think it's hilarious for months. either way it's probably fucked up and stupid. interesting fact though, they're always fun. tell your friends. they are pretty much all fun, in moderation. like anything, in moderation. which is fucking hilarious since i'm probably the most excessive person i know. all of the things i love, i do as often as i can. without much restraint ever. my type of moderation is not at all otherwise i'm going to do it every day. everytime i experiment with any type of mood altering chemical it is quite an experience. usually i learn quite a lot about myself. it has helped me think in different ways and be able to put myself in other peoples shoes. which if you have ever talked to anyone, they're completely concerned about their own shoes and that is it. they really don't give a fuck about you. it's not they're fault though, everyone's trying to figure out how to be a better happier person, but they have no support from society. society continues to tell them they're worthless because they don't look like movie stars or models or me. not their fault though, they have been given fast food as a staple and laugh at people who excersise. then wonder why they don't have a body like whoever. i'm just like everyone else, i'm worried, afraid, insecure, self conscious and all the other things that get people's panties in a bunch. i know it though. i am not afraid to admit it to myself or anyone else. i'm doing something about it and i am going to do anything i want. fuck it. why not? what am i going to have to worry about when i am dead? nothing, so fuck it. i'll go talk to him or her, i'll get us that table now. fuck it, i'll go into the scientology church to get a stress test for the only perpose of being able to make fun of scientologists later. who the fuck cares if i smoke pot everyday. is it going to matter? i only do these things to myself. don't worry i'm only making fun of scientologists because i'm insecure with myself and insecure with how stupid scientologists are for being that naive and ignorant. it is my life, who cares if i want to do whatever i do in my spare time? why is it your business? who are you to tell me i can not smoke pot or shoot heroin if i wanted. you claim what? homosexuals are ruining our country? WHAT THE FUCK? are you trying to convince me that every christian society in the history of time have fallen when homosexuals became accepted? ROME? WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU THAT? you have no idea what you're talking about. sweetheart you were not around for rome or any other christian EMPIRE the beginning, middle or end. i'm sure homosexuals were around the whole time. the little study that prick from whatever religious college did, is propaghanda against human beings. your brother, the little cute one that was so adorable when he'd play dress up and dance around in his mom's high heels. the one who's now a doctor and lives alone very happily but still wants love. yeah, him. maybe you still don't know he's gay, but it's pretty obvious to everyone else. why tell him he can not have love? what does it hurt in your life? maybe every once and awhile you will have to see them holding hands or worse yet, kiss. oh my god it's terrible! ha ha ha. would it not make more sense to be happy for two people willing to flaunt their happiness like that. even if they are fags. you'd want them to be happy for you. selfish. random.
|
|
| little little little |
[30 Jan 2006|11:20am] |
|
the past months have beat on me enought to make me feel so tiny and unimportant. i don't know what i want to do with life. i've always thought i was pretty great, but the more i look at it, why do i have this thought of myself? no particular reason. i don't do anything, i'm not great at anything besides talking and bullshitting, but really what does that do. i'm motivated for nothing. i don't know what i want to do. the one thing i am sure about, i'm not anymore. it seems like all the relationships i've tried to build with friends don't turn out the way i want them too. i'm moving to LA to support my girlfriend, i love her, but it's LA. what am i really supposed to do in LA? i don't know what to do, i don't know what to say. i suddenly feel like everything i have to say is a hassle for anyone who has to listen.i know my girlfriend loves me and i love her, but it seems like everyone else important in her life, has decided that i'm not the one for her except her. i know no one says that to her directly, but it's hinted at. i wish i could be sure of something, anything. something that could make me feel real and not just like a waste of time. i slowly feel like my sanity is leaving my body and leaving me an empty shell who looks exactly like i used to but without the ambition and the confidence. the one thing i am able to pull off, is getting most people to like me and think i'm interesting, but really what does that do? i'm considerate of everyone, but where does that get me either. walked on, ignored, belittled and i know it. what the fuck is wrong with me? for the first time in my life, i can't convince myself i have the answers.
|
|
| yonder hillside |
[10 Jan 2006|12:04pm] |
|
on yonder hillside, all the creatures smile. it's a blank smile. the closer i walk the more i focus on the way i'm feeling, as if my stomach decided now was a great time to twist into knots. the creatures continue to smile. i start to realize that every single one of them is someone i know. my mother, my friends, my friends families, teachers, policemen, my uncles, politicians it seems like everyone is there somewhere, but a altered version of themselves, always smiling. moving around hunched over barely able to hold their torsos above their waists. it seems like they all breathe in unison. there chests swell and then empty to the point you can see their entire skeletons, i feel like i could probably count every bone they have in their bodies. the hillside is beautiful. green grass, flowers, birds and bunnies, even a few deer. a gorgeous cloudless day, about seventy six degrees. all these people would look absolutely gorgeous, if i weren't paying attention. i continue to take a few steps towards them, i can begin to hear a distinct sound coming from the smiling mouths of the one's closest to me. the first one i am close enough to hear is having both sides of a conversation about video game graphics and the ways to improve them. i continue to walk around listening to as many creatures as I can. Finally I find my mother and she's smiling as big as all of the others. Hunched, holding herself up, complaing attempting to convince me that all my problems are because of mexicans. the woman who told me to love everyone, regardless of their skin color, or personal decisions for themselves. I begin to become overwhelmed with sadness, crying, sobbing relentlessly. I stand and sit, so confused at the events of this hour i can't decide which is more comfortable. i can live by good morals and yet, I'm told by creatures everywhere I go my ideas are wrong and rasism and hatered is the way i should live my life. everywhere I see someone talking about something, their interest at that moment. Always changing, never making sense and always smiling. A huge smile, placed there to make their faces appear pleasant, while their bodies waste away because of self loathing and hatred for all the other creatures. the creatures for the first time, notice that theire surrounded by creatures they don't know, they're not alone. their eyes begin to appear worried but their smiles never lessen. one of the creatures has the biggest smile of them all, as he attacks and kills another creature. slowly all of the creatures on yonder hillside have huge smiles. now a few of the creatures have the whole hillside to themselves, in bunkers always watching and waiting for who's going to take it from them. i watch from another hill, with no one but a few people sharing and helping each other concerned only with love. slowly the smiling creatures dissipate at the hands of the smallest, weakest, richest creature, smiling largest. appearing almost human, fooled into thinking he was the best creature for it. a pseudo human being not fueled by emotion or rationality but greed and lust for more personal possession. smiling. on yonder hillside.
|
|
| a moment in my mind. |
[10 Jan 2006|12:04pm] |
if heaven never existed and we all knew it. how do you think we'd all act. do you think everyone would lose it? do you think someone might find comfort in that? i'd hope we'd all treat each other a little bit better.
life's pretty funny. one day, you feel content and the next day life throws you a pitch you've never seen. even more, you've never heard of. it's crazy. what i've figured out, and works pretty well for me, is just running with it. see if you can make it any more comfortable you can, if not. accept it. you're not going to fucking change it back. ever. it's gone. every moment is gone. you can't get it back. it will always just be a memory. love every moment, even the fucked up ones because you'll learn something.
it seems strange to myself, that i will talk politics with people. it seems like an excersise of the perfect way to waste time. the discussions of political matters is fucking mindless. it's like flipping over fifteen million individual blocks, while making sure that it was exactly fifteen million blocks and not one more or less. i need to find a way to talk to people that makes them open minded enough to actually change their political ideals. in fact it's even more mindless that i'm thinking of a better way to have these conversations, because what does it really matter? we have no fucking control over the way our lives are dictated to us. so fuck it. my vote, is no government. let's just see what happens. it hasn't worked better any other way, but wait it gets a little shadier. does the government even want us to have better lives? answer? here. nope. fuck us, we're here to get their jollies off. fuck it. fuck them. they don't care about us. it's only a nation if we believe in it. it's only moral if we allow it to be.
let's be crazy enough to change things.
|
|
| water poisoning. |
[29 Dec 2005|12:51pm] |
|
imagine, water poisoning. imagine, getting sick because you have ingested too much water. of all things to be getting sick from. drinking too much water, it's very slowly poisoning every part of your body until your cells start to give up, you feel your heart beating inside your chest, harder and harder. it's starting to feel like an immense pressure that gets heavier and heavier like someone's stacking boulders on your chest. you start having difficulty breathing. of all days, to be dying. three days before the new year. a new beginning, but you won't see it. you've drinken more water than humanly possible. this may be a stupid way to make this point but think about it. so many things in the world that can be good for you and bad for you, something like water which is the basis of all life but at the same time, if you drink too much water it would poison your body. same thing as so many other things, drugs, food, i mean if you took heroin before surgery or because you'd broken your leg it could be very beneficial but if you did heroin every day, it becomes almost like a debilitating disease. if you eat food in the correct manner you will be healthy and more than likely live longer but if you eat fast food every day, you'll get fat and gross and have a heart attack more than likely. not only that all these things affect people so differently. there's not a single person on the planet that there body reacts the same as another person to all the same things. yet we as people figure that we can make generalized laws that will work for everyone. people don't react the same emotionally or physically, some are prone to addiction while others aren't. we just need to treat people as having different needs and let them decide what's going to work best for them in this life. i'm going to ask anyone who reads this, to do a little soul searching before the end of the year, find what you want, what makes you happy. think of why that it makes you happy, then imagine being someone else. someone in tibet or a child in iraq, whoever you've never really considered how they felt even better yet someone you really dislike. imagine what they think about right before they go to bed, consider what makes them happy. more than likely it's not the same thing that works for us but it's what works for them, what moves them. then know that both of you are trying to do the same thing in this life, be happy, be content, and yet you see differences between yourselves of course. on the outside, he likes baseball you like football, your tall he's small. someone's smart another's dumb, but all of us are out in the pursuit of happiness. so let's just take this year as a new start. a start of forgiveness and understanding. then imagine what we as people could do. imagine peace.
|
|
| working |
[27 Dec 2005|02:32pm] |
|
so i'm at work and i'm on my lunch. working at a mall is the most amazing thing. all these people walking around looking for clothes to wear. this isn't funny in itself usually but if you take a second to see what all these people allowed to buy clothing are wearing they should probably second guess themselves a little bit more. most importantly, the type of thing you over hear walking around a mall if you're listening for the right things is hilarious, between the fourteen year olds talking about fucking their boyfriends and which twenty four year old guy is hot. also the older ladies trying to fit into clothing two sizes two small and being completely upset that it she didn't get blessed with the hips of her twelve year old daughter fucking fatties. you may be saying that i'm a prick or have a superiority complex, the thing about that is you'd be correct. i totally have a superiority complex, but if you walked around a place like this everyday so would you so fuck you.
|
|
| Everybody Fuck Jesus |
[25 Dec 2005|11:57pm] |
|
Do you ever wish you could Fuck Jesus? I do. Seriously. Right in the ass. I'd want to fuck him so hard he'd remember it forever. Just so I know that I'd affected him like he's affected mine and everyone else's life. All the people who have died, all the restrictions put on my life because of him. I think before anyone chooses their religion there "savior" should have to take it in the ass and whichever one did it the best would be the religion you went with and you'd be such a better Buddhist if you'd really roughed up Buddha. I mean you'd have to appreciate something like that. If you didn't you'd be selfish. Nobody likes someone who doesn't play fair. Alright, that may sound like complaining but really it's just the truth, so think about that Bitch. Seriously though, if you could fuck Jesus i'd make sure I had a hidden camera because I'd love to laugh about it later. Most people would probably just end up telling me it was some creepy old guy not Jesus. I think I may mean it as a metaphor but at this point I don't really know, mainly because Jesus is pretty hot. He'd have to have a sweet ass being the fucking son of GOD! if he didn't i'd surely be dissapointed. another think about Jesus that would be dissapointing is if you actually met him and he looked like andre the giant. that would really fuck your perception of everything christian and catholic and mormon. ha ha ha. joseph smith ass fucked Jesus and got away with it, and then profited. that guy.
|
|
| Happy Chanukah, Celebrate Kwanzaa |
[25 Dec 2005|11:46pm] |
wouldn't it be annoying if all i talked about was politics.
i'm sitting next to my girlfriend in bed, we're both on laptops doing internet whatevers. it's christmas. we're chilling smoking pot. i love her so much and always want her to be happy. she's amazing. she's the best person with the best heart of any person i've ever met. she's the smartest most intelligent person i know. every day i wake up to her i'm so lucky and more often than not i take it for granted. i just want her to know how much i appreciate her and think about her and miss her when she's gone. i know she's going to do amazing things with her life. i'm so happy that i get to see what part of her life i'm allowed to. whatever it may be. i can't wait to sit in a movie theatre seat for the first time and have people around me talking about how good the movie is. what's best is I know it's going to happen. my bet is within three years. anyone willing to take that? i love you.
john zimkiwicz is awesome. chillest guy i know. doesn't get better than hanging out with john zimkiwicz. john would do anything for his friends. i hope he knows i'd do the same for him. chiller, best way to describe john. chiller for life.
|
|
| wake up |
[23 Dec 2005|10:32am] |
i wake up every day to two dogs who the moment i wake up try to lick my face. i wake up the most beautiful amazing person i've ever met. she's ususally already awake by the time i get up. i take my dogs out to go to the bathroom one at a time, because if i brought them both they'd just play instead of getting down to business. after that, i'll take off all of my clothes and get in the shower, usually with that girl who literally makes me stop and do a double take because i can't believe she's actually with me, and loves me as much as she does. after that i decide whether or not i want to smoke pot that early unless i have something that won't get done high i choose smoking pot. i dip into my medicinal marijuana that has made me a weed snob because i won't smoke other weed now. i go on with my day thinking that i know it all and people around me just don't care. what i don't realize is I had this same mentality three years ago, thought i had all the answers thought i had a revolutionary way of thinking, when what i had was the beginning of a better mentality that would mature and grow as i did. every day i learn more about people and more about myself.
i know for a fact the only way to get anything accomplished with people is through communication. one skill that i'd say 95% of americans do not have. we usually don't even interact with other people and when we do, it's driving next to them. if our only view of people is them driving imagine how we'd feel about the human race. a bunch of selfish assholes. fucking idiots who speed up when you're trying to change lanes. people who switch lanes incessantly(don't know if that's how you spell that) so that they can try and get home from their daily grind faster but what they don't realize is the reason it takes so long and the reason there is traffic is because mother fuckers don't just stay in one lane.
the only other place i see people and the way they act is at work. i work at nordstrom in mission viejo. every day, people come in and out most of them very nice and easy enough to deal with. then there's the others. the one's who come in and ask you a question and when you tell them it's not possible walk right next to you and ask another employee for the same thing. what they don't realize or are willing to accept is that i was right in the first place. it's not possible. they're completely rude and have this mentality that the entire reason i'm at nordstrom every day is on the few times that they come in. i'm there to be there bitch completely and they don't appreciate it. they take there clothes that they don't really need and go on there merry little way. knowing how much, whoever is going to love their new gift. when really it'll go into the same pile as the rest of the shit and get used occasionally. they go out to their jobs every day and take advantage of their workers so they'll have a little bit more so they can buy clothes or cars or whatever the fuck moves them.
sometimes i don't feel like waking up, not because i'm tired but because of the things people do to our beautiful world all the time. we live in a place with so much life, that is as much a miracle as the pope or our self righteous president. we live in a place where birds fly and squirrels gather nuts for the winter. ducks find there home for the winter. bears hybernate for the winter. babies say there first word. puppies play. we have sunsets and sunrises that heat our world perfectly so that all this life can survive. people have relationships where they'd give up everything they have, including their lives to see that person happy. parents after twenty years of raising a child get to see them succeed in a way they'd never dreamed. a californian saves the life of a japanese child they've never met. this world of ours, with so many amazing things going on every day and yet we concern ourselves with the concerns and doings of so many people around us so we don't have to concern ourselves with what kind of a person we really are. think about it. think about yourself.
look at yourself, do you run away from opportunities because they're different or scary or it's not going to be easy? would you rather have ten dollars for yourself or would you like to see a crippled homeless man take that same ten dollars and put it towards some medication or some food. shit even if he puts it towards booze, his life is so much more fucked up than yours, let him. it'll make him happy.
the most important question we can ever ask is.
WHAT KIND OF PERSON AM I?????
|
|
| REVOLUTION |
[20 Dec 2005|10:44am] |
"You say you want a revolution, well we better get on right away"
You and I. My mom and your mom. Your sister and her fifteen little girlfriends. We're the one's who could take over this country. Take over our lives. For some reason people don't look around and realize that, yes, I don't have the "FREEDOM" that i've been told my whole life I have. Neither do you and neither does your sister or her little friends. We're told what we do, basically from the time we're born until the time we die.
We live the first five years of our lives, crawling and learning how to use our bodies enough to get around. Then we're forced into a schooling situation where the people paying for it don't actually want us to learn anything. The more naive we are, the easier it is for them to control us with brain washing and repetetive images. After that we can either join the work force and stay there until we die, or if we have money we could go to college and become one of the brainwashers.
In between our government turns us against each other, teaches us that blacks and mexicans aren't as good as us. The government makes us worry about which homosexuals are fucking each other and make us think we should have a say in whether or not they do fuck each other legally.
We don't have to live like this anymore. We don't have to live so that a few people can control all the money and power. It'll take quite a struggle, but boycotts. Boycotts of products and companies, is the only voice we have to destroy the infinite power we don't have. Don't buy products from companies that kill people and create trouble around the world. Don't keep buying products from these companies. It's all shit you really don't need anyway.
Your government that you believe in so much, doesn't give a shit about you. They give a shit about the size of the houses they're living in. Whether or not they're children will be able to afford an 80 foot yacht or 120 foot yacht. They don't give a fuck about whether you live or die, or I live or die, or my mom lives or dies. They prefer whatevers financially better for them. The government creates laws to give us the idea that we're in control of our lives.
I'm going to ask everyone to just sit down and think about what these people do that makes our lives better. NOTHING. FUCK THEM
Bi-Partisan Politics.
Democrats - Selfish bastards who don't care about us
Republicans - Selfish bastards who don't care about us
Partisan politics creates a football mentality. My team is better than your team. Really both parties should be working together to make our lives better. They're supposed to be there for us. This country is no different than the England we seperated from. Probably worse. Republicans, they're real goal as republicans is to control taxes and the size of the government, they believe it should be a national government while democrats believe in state governments running the show. Where in these ideas does it say no abortion or no gay marriages. Fuck Politicians. Let's start our own show.
|
|
| my life. the confusion. |
[17 Dec 2005|10:08am] |
i wake up every day. i'm completely happy and satisfied with MY life. i'm completely in love, have a great girlfriend. i've got a decent enough paying job. i have great friends, i love my life. i'm on the great end of the spectrum.
i get to wake up every day to a world that treats people terrible, based on the location of their birth. also, to the family they were born to. business men, play with people's lives like it's a game of chess where they're the only one's that come out on top because whether they win or lose, they're going to end up falling asleep in a big mansion while all the poor people stay up at night worrying if they're going to be able to afford to buy there child a christmas present this year.
i see black, white, latin and asian kids in high school who are ignorant enough to hate each other based on only that. or kids who group together because of a universal hate for another race. fucking bullshit. we have so much more in commonn with the spics, niggeres and chinks then we do with george bush or john kerry.
these guys have no fucking experience or training programs they can go to. they're the same guys who did well in our education program. the one's who cheat and end up as validictorian. there's to much busy work and not enough time in high school to do all your shit yourself. of course they're going to cheat and why not? they figure out cheating works in our schooling system, hey maybe cheating will work at stanford or yale, i'm sure it does and then the brainwashing continues. the yalers and stanforders get a superiority complex because they cheated at a better school than the rest of us.
i talk to people who are going to school right now, they're taking and finishing up finals. i asked my roommate right after he took finals about whether or not he would remember anything he learned in any of his classes this semester. he told me no. this seems confusing to me, why go to school, pay money and spend your time doing something, solely so that you can say you took the class so you can get a better job. what the fuck is that?
what seems worse, is that people let this shit happen everyday. i wake up to a dream i'm convinced can't be real and yet i pinch myself and try to feel just to convince myself i'm actually alive and yet i still can't believe it. i couldn't possibly live in a world where people are so fucking evil that they are willing to kill thousands so that they can add another million to there net worth. FUCK THAT!!!
hypocrisy doesn't bother me. i'm a hypocrite. you're a hypocrite and so is your mom and dad. i haven't met anyone who doesn't say something and then do another, i have met some who don't see it as that and who disagree with me. if you disagree with me, more than likely you're just lying to yourself. if we were all just honest with ourselves and each other things might start to change.
|
|
|
[28 Nov 2005|06:36pm] |
my girlfriend is making this into a shirt for me.
i'm hoping for it to spark some good conversation.
|
|
| What A Trip |
[23 Nov 2005|09:09pm] |
So, the older I get the more things become apparent, which I assume is kind of what happens to everyone. It just seems weird though, that the things around us are as fucked up as they are and yet, everybody lets it occur. We assassinate the people, who try hardest to make our planet a better place. It seems strange that they're the ones being murdered. These people who want everyone to love each other so much.
As, I get older it becomes more and more apparent how simple minded a lot of people are. So easily intimidated, by the use of simple words. Words are an amazing thing, the use of certain words versus others and you can get a completely different reaction out of them. It just seems like so many individuals I meet don't care to think for themselves. Even so many of the "artsy" hipsters I meet. That's fucking fantastic you're an individual, but you're the same fucking individual as all the other "individuals" and you're art isn't fucking good, it's photoshoped to look like someone elses art, or it's based off of something else you've seen. Good job. This isn't true for everyone but the only originality anyone really has is themselves.
I thrive in being me, everyday. Although I know there's someone else out there saying the same shit about me, and I'm sure it's true. Although, how I look at it, is all those simple-minded people are amazing in some way I can't even comprehend. Those, what I'm calling, simple-minded people, may live the happiest most content lives, while I'll always want more and want the world to be a better place and who know's if that'll ever happen. Ignorance may be bliss, but I'd rather be miserable than oblivious.
It's strange getting older. Kind of freaks me out.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
the_devin's journal